The Little Mermaid: The Truth About Disney's Boldest Assault on the American Family

To many the classic Disney film "The Little Mermaid" is a warm, wholesome tale about true love overcoming adversity. I, however, have noticed a disturbing truth about this story, and tonight after years of silence I feel compelled to shed light on what is one of our generations greatest attacks on the American Family. No, I am not talking about the rumors we have all heard regarding sexual references supposedly hidden by some disgruntled writer within the soundtrack and drawings that make up this film. There is, by far, something even more disturbing and dangerous than even these (if they are in fact true) that was intentionally placed in the film. Lets investigate:

"The Little Mermaid" is a story set in the world of Mermaids and Mermen deep below the ocean's surface. A world which is ruled by King Triton, the father of seven daughters that are made to entertain the entire kingdom with their singing in scantily-clad outfits. Although it cannot be proven, the girls all look different implying that they all have different mothers, which would mean that the king is quite promiscuous. Also I find it troubling that no mother is ever shown or even mentioned anywhere in the film.

By now you are, no doubt, asking yourself whether or not you should ever let your child see this film again. Brace yourself, because it gets even worse.

Against the specific order of her father Ariel (the star of the movie) goes to the surface of the ocean to identify some objects she has stolen from a sunken ship. After King Triton finds out about the trip to the surface he disciplines her with a stern reprimand and she storms out crying. Later that same evening Ariel sees a wild, alcohol induced party happening on a ship above her, and is compelled to attend herself. After doing some "peeping tom" spying on this out-of-control party for Prince Eric's birthday she determines she is "in love" with him. This bothers me quite a bit because at this point in the story here is what we know: Ariel is 16, Prince Eric is good-looking, rich, and powerful, and Ariel is in love with him. The story continues when King Triton, at his wits end, destroys everything in Ariel's warehouse of stolen goods. I'm not sure what this is suppose to accomplish, but it drives a wedge so far between Ariel and Triton that Ariel consults Ursula, the sea witch and arch-nemesis of her father, to make her human. So basically, Ariel, the 16 year old who knows better than her hot-tempered father puts herself and her entire species in danger in order to be with this attractive guy she has never met. In the end however, all is well when Ursula is brutally murdered and Ariel turns her back on the whole Merperson race to become a Princess.

I would encourage you to destroy your copy of this family-wrecking movie before your daughter falls in love with a creature of another species and is willing to throw you and everyone you love under the bus to be with him. As always have a nice day and tell everyone you see to read this. Also, look for my documentary film later this summer: "Justin Cunningham and the Conquest of The Big Texan."