Growth Hormones in food-What's the big deal?

     Ever since the meat and dairy industries have started using massive amounts of growth hormones and other chemicals and additives in their cattle there has been a small, yet surprisingly loud, group of the fringe of society that has been crying foul. They make outrageous claims such as additives are actually bad for consumption and cause various types of diseases and even cancer. Obviously such claims are complete poppycock, so tonight I will deliver the real story.

Effects on the body:

    
     Have you noticed that since the mid to late 80s people have seemingly gotten faster and stronger? It's not just in your head, this is actually happening. It's also no coincidence that the mid to late 80s is precisely when hormones and chemical additives began to be used massively in the U.S. beef and dairy industry. You see, when you eat a meal from Taco Bell you are not just getting a delicious meal at a reasonable price in the blink of an eye, you are also getting a plate full of additives that will help your body reach it's full potential by increasing muscle mass and synaptic firing of the nerves (which, of course, boosts reaction time). I, myself, am not of an athletic build and even I can outrun Jessie Owens' gold-medal time at the 1936 Berlin Olympics due to a lifetime of fast and other pre-packaged food consumption. Speaking of the Olympics it is also no coincidence that since the U.S. has been using more and more preservatives in it's food we have become more dominant with every Olympic Games that comes and goes.

Effects on the Mind:

     Since we have already proven that these chemicals help keep the nervous system operating at it's peak it should be no surprise to a logically-thinking person that increased brain power is also a side effect. Some people say that technology begets technology, but the truth is that the real reason technology is growing at an exponential rate is due to the increased use of fast food and pre-packaged food worldwide. Think of all the wonderful things that have come our way over the last 2-3 decades: Apple Computers, Microsoft, 3D TV, Tupac holograms, electric cars, smart phones, the clapper. Almost every major technological advancement we have seen in the last 30 years has been the result of a college student that was on a strict diet of McDonald's dollar menu and ramen noodles, not from a think-tank of vegans as you might think. It's also interesting to me that Japan and China used to be notorious for sub-par electronic devices and poor quality automobiles...until they got McDonalds. Then, all of a sudden they were leading the way in research and development in both industries.

Effects on the Economy:

     The naysayers are so quick to demonize farmers and ranchers who use growth hormones to maximize profits, but they fail to realize that from a financial standpoint we all benefit from their usage. Because of the tremendous amount of extra meat grown as a result of chemical additives we all have the opportunity at a delicious, hot meal that not so long ago would have only been affordable to the super-rich. Yes, even King Solomon, arguably the richest man who ever lived, did not have the luxury of a hamburger prepared in mere minutes at the snap of his fingers. Now, however, even the lowliest peasant can enjoy a fresh meal at his or her convince by simply scraping up some change off the street. This is made possible by growth hormones and chemical additives.


     Thank you for reading, and please refuse to eat so-called "organic" food that is overpriced and underachieving. Have a pleasant day!

Quotable Child Quotes-Episode 1

     As many of you know I have 4 children and as you probably imagine they have many fascinating things to say. I am going to start a series in which I will share with you a few of their most quotable moments. Today we will start with a brief description of each child, so you can more fully appreciate their interactions.

Background:
    
     Trinity is the oldest at 7 years old and behaves as most eldest siblings do; constantly telling her sister and brother what to do. Naturally they do as they are told because they want to be just like her. Trinity is very artistic and particularly loves coloring.
     Arianna is our next at 5 years of age. She is a pleaser and will go out of her way to make almost anyone happy, even if it means sacrificing herself. That being said, however, if she feels strongly about something or sincerely believes she has been shafted in a situation she will go down kicking and screaming (literally sometimes) fighting against what she thinks is a gross injustice.
     Sophia is the antitheses of Arianna, at 4 years old (they are 11 months apart). Sophia is a sweet and beautiful little girl that is as rough as any little boy I have ever come across. She is also extraordinarily loud and has a very strong opinion about anything and everything.
     Derrek is the baby of the group at 2 years, and despite the most sincere efforts by his older sisters he is as boyish as it gets. When he first started playing with cars he instinctively knew what sounded like, and has since become obsessed with any kind of transportation. He is pretty rough physically, but emotionally he is a bit of a softy, like his father.

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While driving in the car and listening to the stereo one day:

Sophia: "(to Trinity) Please stop singing that song!"

Trinity: "I don't have to stop singing to the Lord!"

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The girls are in the living room watching TV while I am in the other room:

Trinity: "Dad, come look! This girl on TV has the same shirt as Sophia!"

I enter the living room and observe the shirt.

Me: "Wow, that's pretty cool."

We stand there for a few minutes watching the TV.

Arianna: "OK, you can leave now."

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One evening I prepared hamburgers, french-fried potatoes, and a bag of microwavable corn for dinner. Later on that evening as I was tucking the children in for bed Arianna wanted to show her appreciation for the dinner:

Arianna: "Thank you for cooking, Daddy. It was good."

Me: "Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Arianna: "I really liked the corn, it was the only thing I ate!"

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The children and I were watching the 2004 film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera". In the first act after Christine Daae triumphantly debuts as the lead soprano the Phantom takes her to his lair where he essentially attempts to sing her into servitude for his music production. As he is singing to her Arianna yells out:

Arianna: "Don't listen to him!"

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As we are riding in the car going home from church one day. The kids are all in different classes so sometime one or two children will get a special snack and the others will get upset:

Arianna: "Daddy, Sophia is mad at me because I got a peice of gum."

Me: "Sophia, you don't get mad at someone for having something you don't, instead we need to be thankful for what we have. Now, if all you girls can be good and be thankful for what you get you can have a cookie after dinner."

Arianna: "I want two!"

Why burning tires may actually save the environment.

     Many of you have asked me to do a review of the hit book series and now full length feature film "The Hunger Games". I refuse to read any books and also watch this particular movie, so instead I have done the next best thing and am writing about how burning tires is actually good for people and the environment.
     Like so much else in modern society (and several subjects addressed in previous posts) the practice of burning used rubber tires has been under constant fire and the subject of heated debate for several decades. Some radicals ignorantly claim that burning tires somehow upsets the "o-zone", an imaginary bubble that supposedly surrounds the earth protecting us from asteroids, space invaders, and the suns brutal rays. As I'm sure you are already aware, this "o-zone" is a complete farce designed to scare children into using environmentally friendly products. The true story is that if you believe a force field would be helpful in protecting Earth from aliens and the sun we need to burn as many tires as possible. You see, the sun hates the Earth and it's inhabitants. It is constantly sending harmful rays to try and destroy us. When we do nothing this is what happens:



     The most disturbing part of this is that this is what the radical environmentalist movement wants to see happen to Earth. Sad, isn't it? Well, I for one want to see Earth preserved and if you agree the answer is for us to create our own protective force field. We can do this by burning such things as rubber tires, most kinds of foam including Styrofoam, and anything else that creates black smoke. The smoke rises to Earth's stratosphere and lingers, mixing with clouds and creating a protective barrier pictured below:

     Wow! Looks like that black smoke shield is just the thing we need to save, not harm, Mother Earth. Please do your part in this war against the sun by refusing to recycle, boycotting recycled products, and burning all kinds of black smoke producing refuse. I would also like to add that every time a hybrid vehicle is purchased Mother Earth weeps, because she knows they don't produce enough emissions to sustain the protective black smoke shield. Thank you for reading and sharing. Have a blessed evening.