Facebook

 
     Everyone knows that Myspace is the Internet's abandoned amusement park, a place that patrons used to go to meet, have a good time and run into the occasional creep. Since Facebook went public, however, Myspace has been reduced to a desolate wasteland, a memory, the place that was cool but our children will never know about. If this is true (and it is, you just read it here) where does that put Facebook on the map of Internet destinations comparable to actual locations. Think about it: What do we go to Facebook for these days? The knee-jerk reaction is "Well, everything, duh!" but in all reality the primary reasons we go to Facebook are to waste time, make bad decisions, and be onlookers of other people's bad decisions. Yes, Facebook has become the Internet's run-down corner bar. Think about it: We go to Facebook to meet friends and strangers and, as William Joel put it "forget about life for awhile". Some people go there every chance they get, some go on weekends, while others try it once and decide it's not for them. While it is true that you cannot get drunk on Facebook you can bet there are plenty of drunkards hanging around and people frequently embarrassing themselves in an unnecessarily public fashion. Let's look a little deeper, shall we?

Relationships:

     Ah yes, relationships. Much like the local pub Facebook has become an epicenter simultaneously for relational woes and relational hope. People go there to forget love lost, to complain about current relationships, and to find love anew. Some are constantly on the prowl, always putting themselves on display in this digital tavern in hopes to land a lover. Then there are the creeps and stalkers, hiding in the corner of the bar at an ill-lit table, to afraid to approach but smitten enough to keep coming around. Facebook relationships aren't always about love, though. Many people gather at the Internet bar just to hang out with friends. The fellas congregate after work to talk about the latest sports match and rib each other about their favorite squad losing. The ladies meet up to make plans to meet up some other time or discuss the latest fashions. Long lost friends sometimes run into each other and reminisce about the "good ole days" while hanging out at the saloon.

Shenanigans:

     Pranks, mischief, and tomfoolery are never in short supply at the Facebook ale house. If you are looking to do some people watching in order to have a good laugh look no further. The guys are always sharing stories of each other to try and embarrass or "get their goat" and one-upsmanship abound. Yes, even the ladies like to join in the fun of humiliating each other with old pictures and stories. Women also frequently gather on Facebook with other women on Facebook to check out other women on Facebook in order that they might observe their behavior and fashion and mock and ridicule them. You are also sure to find plenty of spirited debate about politics, theology, and everything in between on Facebook plus there are always new ideas being formed by the patrons. Just like a real gin mill, however, sometime spirited debate or friendly cracks cross the line and a brawl breaks out. When this happens, just like in real life, instead of just leaving the bar and sleeping it off people stick around to throw jabs at one another as others watch and sometimes even join in. Eventually you have total strangers digitally punching each other in the face and they don't even know why!

Conclusion:
     Facebook, the Internet tavern is a place that can be fun, but can also be abused. If you are on Facebook and encounter someone acting like a drunken buffoon just ignore them and try to enjoy the fellowship of your old pals. Also, you must go to Facebook with the right attitude. If you go there in an ill mood or looking for trouble you most certainly will find it. If you find yourself going to Facebook more and more frequently it's probably time to take a break for awhile. Thank you for reading and have a bessed day!

Marathon Running Tips

     We are entering the Fall holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Justin's Birthday, and Christmas most notably) and although there is much to look forward to you must also be aware of many scams perpetrated by swindlers during this time of year. One such scam is using the festivities of Autumn to dupe people into running long distances in the form of a marathon, half-marathon, etc. Yes, although it's sad that distance running planners prey on the bad and compulsive decision making often associated with the holidays there are some things you can do to prepare for your marathon if you find yourself the victim of such a scam.

1. Preparation and Training:

     If you are planning on running any long distance training and preparation are key. You will need a lot of rest, so be sure you start sleeping more and doing less physical activity. Avoid running. You will need to save all your running energy for the big race, so there is no need to waste it leisure running or for training. If you run 3-4 times a week like some suggest you will find yourself burnt out on running and exhausted before the race even begins. If you have it available I recommend taking the week off work leading up to the race so you can lay in bed the entire time, resting up.

2. Proper Attire:

     Another arm of the marathon scam is the lie that you have to buy specialized equipment in order to successfully complete the race. Equipment such as shirts, shorts, sunglasses, and running shoes are very expensive and are of little or no benefit to the runner. All you need to compete is to dress for the season you're running in (for Fall, some jeans or sweat pants with a hooded sweatshirt should suffice) and wear a pair of thick sole shoes or boots. Your feet are going to come into contact with the pavement thousands of times in the course of the marathon so you need a nice thick and cushy pad between your feet and the track. If you can afford it the best way to protect your feet is to wear a pair of slippers with a pair of boots over them. If you cannot afford that I suggest wearing 6-7 pairs of socks under your shoes.

3. The Day of the Marathon:

     There are a few things you can do the morning of the marathon you are running to maximize your chances of not only finishing the race, but winning it. First, sleep until the last possible second. Waking up hours before the race will just waste precious energy needed for the event. Second, eat a big breakfast. The more you eat the more your body has to convert to energy during the run. Also, try to eat right before the race starts. Third, do not stretch. Again this is an energy waster and will also cut into the time you should be eating. Fourth, drink lots of soda or other sugary drinks. The sugar will give you power that will propel you right across the finish line. Fifth, wear a backpack that has plenty of snacks and drinks in it. It will add extra weight, but running those distances takes a long time so you are bound to get hungry. Also, be sure to pack a magazine or your laptop in case you get bored or need something to take your mind off the fact that you are running.

     I strongly advise against participation in any kind of running activity, much less a long distance run, but if you find yourself in a position where you have no choice but to do so these are the steps to take. If you want to successfully compete in a long distance foot race follow the above tips and you will leave the opposition in the dust!

Dieting Tips-A Colorful Meal Is A Healthy Meal

     I rarely agree with what conventional "science" tells us, especially when it comes to healthy eating habits but I do agree with the timeless principle of having a colorful plate of food when eating. Where we differ is in the colors that we consider healthy. Choosing your food colors is of the utmost importance so tonight I am going to go through what I call the "essential color wheel of eating". After reading this it is up to you to decide if you will listen to conventional "wisdom" on the choice of colors or my list, but when doing so please consider that I am in peak physical condition and am extraordinarily good looking, plus most doctors die prematurely of heart malfunction.

1. White:

     Many of the most delicious and nutritious eatable choices are white. Think about all the different foods that are white: Potatoes, ice cream, cheesecake, bread, pasta, all kinds of cheeses, etc. I could literally go on for hours but you get the point. White is a good base color because almost any meal can be built on it or beneath it. What do you mean...beneath it? I'm glad you asked. We must consider all the toppings that are white as well: white pasta sauce, ranch dressing, gravy, sour cream. etc. Again the list goes on and on, but for the sake of time we will cut it short. Even if you make a poor dinner choice such as a salad you can always salvage it by adding a heaping helping of ranch or gravy.

2. Brown:

     Brown is another color that should be incorporated into every meal plan. Just about anything deep fried is brown as well as brown gravy, cooked bacon and a host of other selections. Cola is also a dark brown and makes a healthy complement to almost any meal, just be sure to avoid any diet or caffeine free cola selections. Even if you find yourself being forced to choke down something green like green beans or, again, a salad there is something brown you can throw in the mix to make it right such as bacon, bacon bits, or some deep fried onion straws.

3. Yellow:

     Butter is yellow. Need I say more?

4. Exceptions to the color list:

     Although it is alright to throw in some greens or blues every now and again I advise against regular incorporation of most colors that are not on the above list. However, there is one very colorful dish I believe is alright to enjoy often as you like. It is pictured below:

Parenting Tips-Locating My Child & Eating Habits

     I would like to address two different parenting issues I see plaguing many people around me-location of children and children's dietary habits. I am no perfect parent by a long shot, but over the years my wife and I have developed some systems that have helped us drastically cut back on these two issues and I would like to pass them along to you other parents or soon-to-be parents in hopes they will help you too.

Where is my Child?

     I see a lot of parents wandering around looking for children who have evaded them. I also see many parents separated from their children and they have no idea the child is even gone, or they just don't care. This is a major problem because small children left on their own can get into all kinds of mischief, or even worse, flat out danger! Sometimes the simplest solution is the correct one, and such is the case when addressing this issue. I have found that in order to eliminate the problem of unwanted child/parent separation the best thing to do is watch your children. Yes, it's that simple. All one needs to do is keep the child nearby and watch them...as in physically look at them once in a while and keep track of them. This is great because you can see with your own eyes if your child is near, is taking off, is in danger, or anything else the child may be engaged in. Looking at your child on a regular basis is step one. Step two is to stop the child from doing wrong if wrongdoing is observed. I know it's hard at first to try and make your child do what they're told, but if you can get through those first few times I promise it will get easier, plus the benefits of a child who does not run off constantly are almost too many to list.

My Child Refuses to Eat!

     Another problem I see parents facing on a daily basis is the battle at the dinner table. My wife and I have had to drudge through this issue with a few of our children so I know what you're going through. Again, the solution to this is surprisingly simple. All you need to do is prepare a meal for your family and make the child in question eat it. But what if the child in question refuses the meal in front of them, then what? When this scenario arises (and it no doubt will) all you need to do is allow the child to not eat. Your child will not be harmed if they skip one meal, and by the time the next meal comes around the child will be hungry enough to eat whatever is placed before them. But what if the child still won't eat? That's ok. Let them not eat again. I know it sounds mean but your child will eat eventually, and when they do it will be a well-balanced meal you have prepared and you can feel good about that. If you commit to using this method I would advise that you do not allow the child in question to snack between meals they have refused to participate in and do not prepare an alternate meal for them. Fixing more than one meal at every meal time costs far too much money, plus the preparation robs you of quality time you could otherwise be spending with your family.

     I hope the above advise helps you through this maze we call parenting. If you have a parenting topic you would like to see addressed by someone other that a so-called "expert" who doesn't even have children please email A Mind On Display and we will do our best. Also, please pass this along to someone you know who may benefit from this advice!

A Mind On Display would like to thank Christie Cunningham for her contribution to the above article, namely the pre-birth carrying and delivery of Justin Cunningham's 4 children.

Breaking News: Anti-Chick-Fil-A protesters plan sit-in

Since Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy spoke out in favor of traditional marriage a whirlwind debate has swept the nation. Everything from petty name calling to public officials vowing banishment of the fast-food chain has been thrown out to try and get Cathy to retract his statement. Despite all the hullabaloo though, the latest twist in the firestorm is probably the most interesting. Yesterday anti-Chick-Fil-A protesters announced they have organized a nation-wide protest/sit-in that will take place once a week for the next several weeks. This large group, comprised of several smaller LGBT groups around the country, will be picketing and sitting in every Sunday hoping to cripple Chick-Fil-A's profitability enough to force the hand of it's president. One of the organizers agreed to speak to us under the condition of anonymity: "Obviously we can't do this every day because most of us have jobs, so we figured if we could take down one day of every week that would reduce their profits by at least one-seventh. That should hurt 'em enough to make them rethink this hateful stance." The organizer went on to say "We know Chick-Fil-A is really churchy, too, so we're betting a lot of people come in after church on Sunday to eat. That coupled with the reasons I mentioned earlier makes Sunday the ideal day for these demonstrations".
     A member of Chick-Fil-A's cooperate leadership team also agreed to speak to us under the condition of anonymity: "Due to the fact that Chick-Fil-A is closed every Sunday we not only believe this demonstration will have zero effect on our current customers, we believe it will increase business throughout the rest of the week. These groups have been providing so much free advertising for Chick-Fil-A that we have been able to almost entirely eliminate our advertising budget. Thanks to these people it looks like Chick-Fil-A is going to have a banner year!"
     The anonymous protest organizer scoffed at the remarks: "We'll see if they're singing the same tune next Monday."
     The protests are scheduled to begin this coming Sunday. A Mind On Display will have correspondents on the ground and will be providing a full breakdown of the aftermath.

For a full list of contributors to this report please see http://justincunningham.blogspot.com/2012/07/breaking-news-anti-chick-fil-protesters.html

The famous Dairy Queen Subway story

     Hello friends, tonight I would like to tell you a personal tale of a friend of mine I used to work with at the Dairy Queen. I have no reason to share this with you other than personal satisfaction but I hope, as with all my posts, perhaps you can learn from it at some level. Although the events described in the following story are completely true and accurate the names of the main characters (save myself, of course) have been changed for their protection.
     It all started one hot summer evening while the traveling carnival was in town. I was a young, but highly respected general manager of the local Dairy Queen. I had underneath me a team of employees who were generally submissive, one of which was a girl named Kandace (not her real name, of course). Several of the ladies that worked for me decided to have a "girl's night out at the fair", but unfortunately not all of them could have the luxury of a night off so Kandace drew the shortest straw and was made to stay behind to do my bidding. Although saddened by this turn of affairs Kandace held her head high as she responded by saying "I understand and highly respect your decision, and although it grieves me to have to miss the evenings festivities, I thank you for your kindness in even hearing my plea and considering it. You, sir, are a great manager". The ladies recognized the sadness in Kandace's eyes and offered to get dinner and bring it to her so they could at least enjoy fellowship over a meal together on her break. "Anything you want Kandace. Ask us to bring anything you desire for dinner and it will be granted to you" the ladies said regarding the dinner to come. She could think of only one thing that would take the pain away from this tragic situation, "I would like Mr. Goodcents, please!" The order was taken and plans were made. They were to meet at the Dairy Queen the following evening at sundown, Mr. Goodcents in hand. Kandace could hardly sleep, for she loved Mr. Goodcents with all her heart.
     As the time for her shift to began grew nigh Kandace entered the Dairy Queen glowing like a school kid on the first day of summer. Her day had been just right up to that point. She had received a favorable report card from school, found and extra $20 in an old pair of pants, and reached her personal best in the long jump earlier that day. She clocked in and waited for her girlfriends and the meal that was to come shortly. Then the call came; "We're on our way!" Kandace squealed as she hung up the phone as though she had just been asked on a date by the quarterback of the football team. However, when the ladies arrived things took an ugly turn.
     One by one Kandace's camp of girlfriends came through the doors of the Dairy Queen, but there was no sign of Mr. Goodcents. Then she saw that which she feared most...a bag from Subway. She asked of the ladies, "Why Subway? I thought we were going to have Mr. Goodcents." Without a second thought Christy, the ringleader of this gang, responded "We decided on Subway, it's the same thing!" Kandace respectfully protested "No it's not. Mr. Goodcents uses fresher ingredients and is more eco-friendly. Plus, they use organic meat from cageless chicken and beef farms that are free of harmful chemical additives." "Well, what's done is done. Are you gonna eat or not?" Christy responded. With a heavy heart Kandace choked down the Subway and the chemical additives. She maintained her composure and remained thankful that the ladies had brought her dinner.
     After the women had gone on to the carnival Kandace returned to the service area of the restaurant where I greeted her with a sincere and heartfelt apology; "I heard about the Subway fiasco...I'm really sorry!" With that Kandace buried her face in her hands and fled to the back, tears flowing as she wailed and sobbed over the evenings turn of events. THE END!

Taco Bell

     It's no secret for those who know me that I love Taco Bell. Yes, Taco Bell and I have been through a lot, so as such I have composed the following poem to celebrate our life together thus far.

Taco Bell, my lovely Taco Bell, how I adore thee.
We have shared a life together that I could have never dreamed of.
You are good for me in every way.
You provide nutrition, you taste great, you are affordable, you are good for my soul.
When I was young my parents tried to keep us apart,
but when I matured to driving age they could not keep me from you any longer.
You were the first meal my wife and I shared after we exchanged our marriage vows.
You were there for me when she told me she was pregnant again...and again...and again.
Yes, Taco Bell, you have been there for me.
Again in adulthood liars tried to separate me from you by accusing you of using fake beef.
However, we locked arms and stood firm until the charges were dismissed,
and the accusers fled in utter humiliation.
I never doubted your sincerity.
I remember working at Dairy Queen next door to you.
I would venture off on lunch break to be with you in secret.
Even though our relationship was concealed at the time, I knew it wasn't wrong.
Some of those who know us mock and ridicule our love,
Pay no attention to them, for they are just jealous of what we have.
What does the future hold for us my love?
I don't know, I cannot say.
I do know, however, that whatever comes we will face it hand in hand.
And we will be together all the days of our lives, my Taco Bell and I.

Bob Ross-The World's only 7-dementional painter

     In the world of fine art there is no name that is more recognized than that of Bob Ross. Known for his "happy trees", wild fashion sense, and hippie-like demeanor, Bob Ross has captivated audiences for decades with his captivating paintings, leaving all who see them captivated. Although everyone on Earth can agree that Bob Ross was a genius most people don't understand exactly what made him such, therefore tonight I am going to explain exactly what it is you can't put your finger on that makes Mr. Ross' paintings so amazing. It's all about dimensions. Bob Ross was the only painter that was able to paint in 7 dimensions. For the most part everyone knows what 2 and 3 dimensional pictures are, so I will not take the time to explain them, but I will briefly explain the far lesser known 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th dimensions.

4th Dimension: Behind Sight:

     When Bob Ross is constructing one of his masterworks he often makes complete mountains in the background with details, only to cover them up with happy trees. Yes, the majestic work just finished is almost always covered in part and sometimes entirely. The 4th dimension is the dimension behind an object you can't see. For example: the tree on your left in the picture above has something behind it-a mountain and other trees. Every other painter in history before and since Ross has simply placed objects (such as trees) on a canvas with nothing behind them. Not Ross, however. Ross knew that with technology advancing at such a rapid rate we would one day have the ability to see what was behind those trees, so he covered the 4th dimension in anticipation of this. Truly visionary.

5th Dimension-Foresight

     Almost every time Bob Ross is weaving a tapestry of painting majesty you will see him stop what he is doing and say something along the lines of "Wait...I see something. Yes...right there. There it is" and he will begin painting something he has seen. That's right, when it came to painting Bob Ross could see the future. He could see the 5th dimension-that which is not yet seen, and bring it into view for the rest of the world. No other painter has this ability. Every other artist puts on canvas what is already in their minds eye while Bob Ross just begins his journey and has the scene revealed to him along the way. What a gift!

6th Dimension-Unseen Sight:

     You notice how the previously-mentioned tree on your left goes off the end of the painting? It doesn't just cease to exist when the canvas stops. The rest of that tree exists in the 6th dimension, the realm we cannot see. Unlike other artists who are simply confined to the parameters of their canvas Bob Ross actually has the ability to create art in this 6th dimension. The rest of that tree exists in a world of unseen things that most people dismiss as mere myth.

7th Dimension-Parallel Sight:

     On several of his paintings Bob Ross will put a sheet of contact paper over part of the canvas, paint a masterpiece, tear off the contact paper with some of the art on it, and then paint again where the paper has been removed. This is the only example in recorded history of 7th dimension painting-the dimension that parallels our own. You see, when he does this he is actually creating the same painting twice with 2 different outcomes. There is the outcome that has what is on the contact paper and the outcome that has what is on the canvas, and they are both as real as each other. Some scientists believe this is impossible without interrupting the time/space continuum causing the universe to cave in on itself, but Bob Ross has made it happen multiple times.

     Thank you for your time, and if you are a Bob Ross fan as I am please share this with someone who may not be a believer. I will close with the famous words of Mr. Bob Ross-"Happy painting, and God bless. Goodbye."

Ode To Fathers-A Father's Day Poem

     This Sunday is Father's Day, one of the most important holidays of the year. To celebrate one of the greatest assets in all of humanity, the father, I have composed the following poem. Feel free to recite it to your father, husband, or a random father you know to let him know what he means to you.

The Father, what can I say of thee?
You are mighty and strong, a pillar for the family to lean on.
You are wise, a cistern of knowledge from which we can drink.
Villains rise up against the family, but the father protects even the most feeble of the children.
The power of the might of the father of the family is felt to the ends of the Earth.
Yes, you father of children are wise beyond years and strong beyond regular ability.
The expecting father has many sleep-filled nights, but he too will soon slumber no more.
The father to be will rise up in power and hold the scepter alongside his fellow brethren.
The father of many children is worthy of double honor.
He raises and provides for his multiple offspring, and they are without want.
He is awesome in power, the father of many, many young children.
The father of nineteen is considered a fool in the market.
He appears ridiculous in the eyes of all the people.
The man that is the father of more than three but less than five is the crown jewel of the people.
He captivates the nations with his ability, yes his ability to harness the power of his four children.
The people marvel at his steadfast steadfastness.
The women he knows are compelled to shower him with gifts of the finest delicacies.
And the menfolk give him honor in the form of monetary gifts.
The father of more than three but less than five offspring is humble in spite of his greatness.
He esteems himself not, but brings himself low for the sake of his family.
However, when it comes to doing great acts he towers over the people, and they are in awe.
Yes, fathers of all accounts are worthy of praise.
But the father of four stands head and shoulders above them all.

     For those of you wondering it is appropriate to complement this poem with a gift (or many gifts) to the special father in your life. Be sure to lavish attention on him as well. You might also want to consider extending this Fathe'r\s Day through the rest of the week or even month. Happy Father's Day!

The POWER diet

     Since the initial publication of the Holidiet plan we have received thousands of letters describing life changes taking place as a result of its implementation in peoples' routines. This is the most rewarding part of being a semi-professional blogger. The truth of the matter, however, is that the Holidiet does not work for everyone, as evidenced by a few letters we have received by fans frustrated by failure when they did not lose the weight they expected. In the spirit of not leaving anyone behind I have been up night after night researching an alternative to the Holidiet for that vast minority who have not had success with it. I call it the POWER diet.

Overview:

     When one begins a workout regiment one may choose to "define" ones current muscles by doing several sets of several repetitions with a low weight. On the other hand one may also choose to build on the muscles they have by doing fewer sets and repetitions with a higher weight. The stomach muscle is no different, when you eat several small meals over the course of the day you "define" it and if you eat a few very large meals that muscle grows stronger and stronger. Now, most liberal scientists will have you believe that when your stomach muscle grows you are actually getting fatter and causing damage to your stomach and heart. New research shows that this is simply not true. The fact of the matter is as you ingest more fatty and sugary foods your stomach and heart get a great workout and they are able to operate at peak performance for years to come. If you eat "health food" such as salad, wheat, and low-fat meals your organs get lazy and tend to fail faster because they never have to work. With that in mind let me lay out this day-by-day diet plan that will save your life and save you money in the process! The basics are you eat 3 very large meals a day, each with a dessert to complement it. We will break down each meal and give you some tips to maximize your POWER diet experience.

Big Breakfast:

     The name says it all. When you wake from slumber the most important thing you should do is eat an extremely large and fatty breakfast. I recommend a healthy dose of bacon with any meal, but with the big breakfast it is a must. Enjoy all your favorite foods such as doughnuts, eggs, sausage, biscuits, and sugary cereal. Don't forget that gravy and/or cheese goes great over any kind of breakfast food, too. Eat to your hearts content but don't forget to save room for post-big breakfast dessert!

Dinner:

     This is your basic dinner, but eaten just slightly earlier (4-5ish for most people, but you can adjust to your schedule). Any kind of classic home cooking or fast food will do (fried chicken, meatloaf, casserole, pot roast, steak, etc.) Please remember that a salad is NOT a meal, no not ever. You also need to remember that following dinner is dessert. When having dinner and dessert avoid anything that is free of trans fats or anything produced by a weight loss company. Also, eating vegetables is fine, but canned veggies with plenty of additives are better than fresh.

2nd Dinner:

     Just before bedtime you need to eat another full size dinner to ensure your heart and stomach are working for you even through the night. Just follow the same rules as 1st dinner and you should be good. Fast food drive thru is also a sensible and quick choice for 2nd dinner/dessert (I recommend Taco Bell).

'Cheating' Weekends:

     If you follow the POWER diet for the entire work week feel free to reward yourself on the weekend by shedding the restraints of the regiment. After all, you've earned it! Eat whatever you want whenever you want. If you slipped up during the week simply take the weekend off to regroup and try again next week! You can do it, don't give up!


     If you have not had success with the Holidiet please try the POWER diet and let us know how it works for you! Thanks and have a blessed day.

*As with the Holidiet, the staff at A Mind on Display is not responsible for effects of the POWER diet. Please consult a licenced dietitian before starting any diet regiment, and if you actually go ask one about the POWER diet, please let us know what they say.

Growth Hormones in food-What's the big deal?

     Ever since the meat and dairy industries have started using massive amounts of growth hormones and other chemicals and additives in their cattle there has been a small, yet surprisingly loud, group of the fringe of society that has been crying foul. They make outrageous claims such as additives are actually bad for consumption and cause various types of diseases and even cancer. Obviously such claims are complete poppycock, so tonight I will deliver the real story.

Effects on the body:

    
     Have you noticed that since the mid to late 80s people have seemingly gotten faster and stronger? It's not just in your head, this is actually happening. It's also no coincidence that the mid to late 80s is precisely when hormones and chemical additives began to be used massively in the U.S. beef and dairy industry. You see, when you eat a meal from Taco Bell you are not just getting a delicious meal at a reasonable price in the blink of an eye, you are also getting a plate full of additives that will help your body reach it's full potential by increasing muscle mass and synaptic firing of the nerves (which, of course, boosts reaction time). I, myself, am not of an athletic build and even I can outrun Jessie Owens' gold-medal time at the 1936 Berlin Olympics due to a lifetime of fast and other pre-packaged food consumption. Speaking of the Olympics it is also no coincidence that since the U.S. has been using more and more preservatives in it's food we have become more dominant with every Olympic Games that comes and goes.

Effects on the Mind:

     Since we have already proven that these chemicals help keep the nervous system operating at it's peak it should be no surprise to a logically-thinking person that increased brain power is also a side effect. Some people say that technology begets technology, but the truth is that the real reason technology is growing at an exponential rate is due to the increased use of fast food and pre-packaged food worldwide. Think of all the wonderful things that have come our way over the last 2-3 decades: Apple Computers, Microsoft, 3D TV, Tupac holograms, electric cars, smart phones, the clapper. Almost every major technological advancement we have seen in the last 30 years has been the result of a college student that was on a strict diet of McDonald's dollar menu and ramen noodles, not from a think-tank of vegans as you might think. It's also interesting to me that Japan and China used to be notorious for sub-par electronic devices and poor quality automobiles...until they got McDonalds. Then, all of a sudden they were leading the way in research and development in both industries.

Effects on the Economy:

     The naysayers are so quick to demonize farmers and ranchers who use growth hormones to maximize profits, but they fail to realize that from a financial standpoint we all benefit from their usage. Because of the tremendous amount of extra meat grown as a result of chemical additives we all have the opportunity at a delicious, hot meal that not so long ago would have only been affordable to the super-rich. Yes, even King Solomon, arguably the richest man who ever lived, did not have the luxury of a hamburger prepared in mere minutes at the snap of his fingers. Now, however, even the lowliest peasant can enjoy a fresh meal at his or her convince by simply scraping up some change off the street. This is made possible by growth hormones and chemical additives.


     Thank you for reading, and please refuse to eat so-called "organic" food that is overpriced and underachieving. Have a pleasant day!

Quotable Child Quotes-Episode 1

     As many of you know I have 4 children and as you probably imagine they have many fascinating things to say. I am going to start a series in which I will share with you a few of their most quotable moments. Today we will start with a brief description of each child, so you can more fully appreciate their interactions.

Background:
    
     Trinity is the oldest at 7 years old and behaves as most eldest siblings do; constantly telling her sister and brother what to do. Naturally they do as they are told because they want to be just like her. Trinity is very artistic and particularly loves coloring.
     Arianna is our next at 5 years of age. She is a pleaser and will go out of her way to make almost anyone happy, even if it means sacrificing herself. That being said, however, if she feels strongly about something or sincerely believes she has been shafted in a situation she will go down kicking and screaming (literally sometimes) fighting against what she thinks is a gross injustice.
     Sophia is the antitheses of Arianna, at 4 years old (they are 11 months apart). Sophia is a sweet and beautiful little girl that is as rough as any little boy I have ever come across. She is also extraordinarily loud and has a very strong opinion about anything and everything.
     Derrek is the baby of the group at 2 years, and despite the most sincere efforts by his older sisters he is as boyish as it gets. When he first started playing with cars he instinctively knew what sounded like, and has since become obsessed with any kind of transportation. He is pretty rough physically, but emotionally he is a bit of a softy, like his father.

------

While driving in the car and listening to the stereo one day:

Sophia: "(to Trinity) Please stop singing that song!"

Trinity: "I don't have to stop singing to the Lord!"

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The girls are in the living room watching TV while I am in the other room:

Trinity: "Dad, come look! This girl on TV has the same shirt as Sophia!"

I enter the living room and observe the shirt.

Me: "Wow, that's pretty cool."

We stand there for a few minutes watching the TV.

Arianna: "OK, you can leave now."

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One evening I prepared hamburgers, french-fried potatoes, and a bag of microwavable corn for dinner. Later on that evening as I was tucking the children in for bed Arianna wanted to show her appreciation for the dinner:

Arianna: "Thank you for cooking, Daddy. It was good."

Me: "Well, I'm glad you liked it."

Arianna: "I really liked the corn, it was the only thing I ate!"

------

The children and I were watching the 2004 film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's "The Phantom of the Opera". In the first act after Christine Daae triumphantly debuts as the lead soprano the Phantom takes her to his lair where he essentially attempts to sing her into servitude for his music production. As he is singing to her Arianna yells out:

Arianna: "Don't listen to him!"

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As we are riding in the car going home from church one day. The kids are all in different classes so sometime one or two children will get a special snack and the others will get upset:

Arianna: "Daddy, Sophia is mad at me because I got a peice of gum."

Me: "Sophia, you don't get mad at someone for having something you don't, instead we need to be thankful for what we have. Now, if all you girls can be good and be thankful for what you get you can have a cookie after dinner."

Arianna: "I want two!"

Why burning tires may actually save the environment.

     Many of you have asked me to do a review of the hit book series and now full length feature film "The Hunger Games". I refuse to read any books and also watch this particular movie, so instead I have done the next best thing and am writing about how burning tires is actually good for people and the environment.
     Like so much else in modern society (and several subjects addressed in previous posts) the practice of burning used rubber tires has been under constant fire and the subject of heated debate for several decades. Some radicals ignorantly claim that burning tires somehow upsets the "o-zone", an imaginary bubble that supposedly surrounds the earth protecting us from asteroids, space invaders, and the suns brutal rays. As I'm sure you are already aware, this "o-zone" is a complete farce designed to scare children into using environmentally friendly products. The true story is that if you believe a force field would be helpful in protecting Earth from aliens and the sun we need to burn as many tires as possible. You see, the sun hates the Earth and it's inhabitants. It is constantly sending harmful rays to try and destroy us. When we do nothing this is what happens:



     The most disturbing part of this is that this is what the radical environmentalist movement wants to see happen to Earth. Sad, isn't it? Well, I for one want to see Earth preserved and if you agree the answer is for us to create our own protective force field. We can do this by burning such things as rubber tires, most kinds of foam including Styrofoam, and anything else that creates black smoke. The smoke rises to Earth's stratosphere and lingers, mixing with clouds and creating a protective barrier pictured below:

     Wow! Looks like that black smoke shield is just the thing we need to save, not harm, Mother Earth. Please do your part in this war against the sun by refusing to recycle, boycotting recycled products, and burning all kinds of black smoke producing refuse. I would also like to add that every time a hybrid vehicle is purchased Mother Earth weeps, because she knows they don't produce enough emissions to sustain the protective black smoke shield. Thank you for reading and sharing. Have a blessed evening.

The Lorax and its profound effets on American history

     With the recent release of a full length feature film the children's book "The Lorax" has, yet again, been thrust onto the center stage of American pop culture. Generation after generation of kids and parents alike have enjoyed this classic good vs. evil tale about environmental awareness. There is no way that any harm could come of the publication of this book, right? The answer you don't want to know may surprise you, so I'm going to break it down Dr. Seuss style to ease the blow:

"The Lorax" is a tale about the Once-ler, greedy and unfriendly.

Who supposedly didn't care about mother Earth, only his checkbook and his Bentley.

He represented corporations who allegedly fill the lake with muckety muck.

And destroy the natural habitats with their axety axes and truckety trucks.

He made a product for those who needed affordable clothing, called a thneed.

To help give the masses a step out of poverty.

Doesn't seem that bad, but hear the rest of the tale.

The Lorax came around and started raising all kinds of...chaos.

"I speak for the trees!" he declared with a might humph.

He pointed to the Once-ler and said "You must die!" while perched on a Truffula stump.

"People are important, yes, I surely hope they can be kept warm

But more important are the Truffula trees. So in their name I declare war!"

The Lorax kept on huffing "I won't let you have any trees for the benefit of man

So I'm sending the Animal and Earth Liberation Fronts to foil all your plans!"

The Onceler pleaded "I just wanted to make a thneed, something that could help the poor and needy

Why is it that because I make money as a result I'm considered greedy!?"

The Lorax snapped back "I have no need for your excuse.

You may care about poor people but look at the Barbaloots in their Barbaloot suits!

You've ruined their swimming pool, a place for them to relax and unwind!

Why is it that people surviving the cold is more important than that in your twisted mind?"

"Uhhh...yes" replied the Once-ler "I think human survival is more important than a swimming pool

If you believe that's foolish then I guess you can call me a fool."

With a red face and one last breath the Lorax did concede

"FINE THEN! Me and all the creatures of the forest are just going to leave!

We will go somewhere where our needs and wants are uninterrupted

Somewhere that we don't have to share our resources, where our pools are uncorrupted"

As the Lorax vacated the forest the turned the skys black as night.

And barked threats and insults at the Once-ler, for the sake of children I won't re-type.

And the Lorax kept his promise to put the Once-ler in a fix

With the appearing of the Animal Liberation Front in 1976.

Again, years down the road, the Lorax made good on his curse

When radical eco-terrorists formed the Earth Liberation Front from Earth First!

So now you see the impact "The Lorax" has had on our world since it's publication.

What comes next after the release of the film? I don't know, that would only be speculation.



Note: None of the dialogue used in this publication was taken directly from the "The Lorax", it's just an extraordinarily clever rhyme designed to show that the Animal and Earth Liberation Fronts were formed as a direct result of the original story.

Why Christians should not recognize Daylight Savings

     I'm going to get straight to the point on this post: Daylight Savings is pointless and Christians should not recognize it because it's stupid. Also, non-Christians should refuse to recognize it for the same reasons. Thank you and goodnight!

     While you're here be sure to check out some of our archives including topics such as Politics, Pop Culture, and other random stuff! Thanks for the support and don't forget to send me some money through Paypal at djcloxyde!@yahoo.com

Homeschool-Episode 1

    There are many mysteries and stigmas associated with homeschooling. Some of them are good, but for the most part they cast a negative light on educating children at home as opposed to the public school system. In the summer of my 28th year my wife approached me with the desire to homeschool our 4 children (ages 2, 4, 5, and 7 the day of writing this post) which was a concept I had never considered. Needless to say I was skeptical (who am I kidding, I was staunchly opposed to the idea), but after unrelenting persistence on the part of my wife I conceded to let her try it, and the following represents what I have learned so far on the matter. Usually when I write on this forum the facts presented are above reproach and generally accepted as absolute fact, but in this case I will admit from the start that these words represent only my personal experiences and should, therefore, not be taken as necessarily what all parents encounter with homeschooling. I can also comment only on what I have experienced thus far, so subjects such as prom, getting a real job, etc. will have to be addressed when they happen years down the road (hence this being Episode 1)

Socialization:

     Probably the biggest concern about homeschooling is the worry that children will be awkward socially, unable to interact with persons of the opposite sex, or turn out to be painfully shy and cut off from the rest of society. This is completely false. As previously stated I have 4 children and they talk to everyone they possibly can. In fact, none of them ever stop talking from dawn until dusk and have a strong opinion about almost every subject imaginable and are certainly not afraid to share it (even without prompting). They even talk in their sleep most of the time. It is also worth noting that my 4-year-old is already engaged to another boy who is homeschooled and they have a pretty healthy and playful relationship.

Sports:

     Another myth that people perceive about homeschooled kids is they are terrible or uninterested in sports or basic skills associated with athletics. This is also false. Even at a very young age all of my children have shown proficiency at several skill sets required in different sporting activities. Below is a list of said skills:

1. Baseball-The kids have a knack for throwing things toward each other (pitching, fielding) and swinging a bat.

2. Soccer-They have demonstrated that they have a fine grasp on kicking objects across a room or yard.

3. Hockey/Boxing-Advanced fistfighting skills have been witnessed by my wife and myself many times.

4. MMA-The children often work on their grappling and 'ground and pound' technique, which is becoming quite good.

5. Speech and Debate-Not a sport, I know, but it is worth mentioning that the kids often argue with each other and have become increasingly good at proving or disproving almost anything (depending on what side of the argument they are on).

Pop Culture:

     Another criticism of homeschooling is that kids will be out of touch with what's going on in the world of American pop culture. This is actually true. When my eldest was in kindergarten she came home requesting an Xbox 360 for Christmas and professing her love of Justin Beiber, while on another occasion scolding me about how we did not recycle or do enough for "Mother Earth". Since homeschooling these subjects, along with other undesirables, have been forgotten...and that is fine by me.

     As I said before this is a very brief list of things I have learned about homeschooling from a parent’s perspective through a semester and a half. As I encounter more myths and rumors I will be sure to address them right here for your consideration. Thank you for your time and God bless!

Dolphin Tale

     Dolphin Tale is the feel good story about a dolphin that is rescued from his natural habitat to be enslaved in the confines of an aquatic prison for the amusement of humans...and it is downright gross. This film is loosely based on a truely unbelievable true story.

Synopsis:

     In the tradition of Free Willy the film follows a troubled young boy (Sawyer Nelson) with no father who is doing poorly in school and has no friends. One day on his way to skipping Summer School the boy stumbles upon a dolphin (who is later named "Winter") loosely entangled in a crab trap and, with the help of an old drunkard, cuts him loose. Soon after the rescue volunteers from a local animal hospital come and kidnap the dolphin while the unlikely heros are trying to get him back in the water. The director of the animal hospital, Dr. Clay Haskett, makes the executive decision to remove the dolphin's tail in order to save the creature from possible back discomfort. In the meantime, Sawyer's mother decides it would be in the boy's best interest to let him drop out of school altogether so he can pursue a lifestyle of helping animals while living off of handouts and government assistance the rest of his days. The newly formed animal rescue team recruits the services of a nearby orthopedic specialist, Dr. Cameron McCarthy, who normally serves wounded military personal and convinces him to turn his back on our fallen human heros to devote his expertise to the dolphin. After thousands of hours and millions of dollars invested in the dolphin's tail, Winter rejects the tail and destroys it, along with the hopes of the entire team. Soon after a hurricane destroys the entire town where they live, threatening to close the animal hospital unless they sell to a greedy Capitalist pig who wants to convert the property into a safe haven for human beings. Rather than give in to the offer on the table, young Sawyer and his girlfriend decide to turn Winter into a freak show where people can come and pay 2 bits to come and gawk at the hideously deformed figure. This, coupled with a large-scale carnival raise several million dollars to help the shelter, while at the same time the Capitalist investor is forced at gunpoint by Greenpeace animal activists to fully fund the rescue operation and revoke his plans to build his hotel. All ends well when Dr. McCarthy arrives at the carnival with Winter's new tail, the product of billions of dollars and almost 2 years of research, and the dolphin accepts the tail.

Review:

     If you want to save 2 hours of your life I can pretty much sum up the film as follows: Animals are more important than people. In this film a town is destroyed by a hurricane and what do they do? Come together to help this dolphin while thousands of people are displaced. A war hero comes home from the front lines and what happens? A dolphin gets a prosthetic tail while the man gets a knee brace. This is enough to make one sick but then throw in the fact that a child's mother allows him to throw his education in the waste receptacle to help out this dolphin, and it becomes unbearable. Another thing that really bothers me about this true story is the total price tag of producing the dolphin tail. If you add it all up the grand total (including labor hours) is over $13 billion. A truely staggering number, especially considering the current state of the economy and the number of humans that could use some real financial help.

 A few additional notes on the actual production of the movie:

-The computer animation is sub par.

-The all-star cast is squandered on this feel-bad story.

     Thank you for your time and please repost this on your wall on Facebook. I would really appreciate it if one of you would also create a flattering Wikipedia page about me, because I'm not allowed to make one about myself. God bless!

*If you would like to check sources for the information given in this article please visit www.justincunningham.blogspot.com

Man Colds

     There has been a furious debate going back and forth since the fall of man. An argument that has become a wedge between husband and wife more so than almost any other marital experience. A problem that tears millions of families apart every year. I am talking, of course, about the man of the house falling ill or, as some headstrong and prideful women put it, the "man cold'.

What is a "Man Cold"?

     Typically when a man is sick no one but the man and God know about it. The man conceals his ailment because he knows he does not have the luxury of a day off, well with the bills that need to be paid, automotive upkeep, fixing things around the house for his wife's benefit, and helping his wife with the children and household chores*. When he is sick enough to take a day off he is only doing so because he knows that if he takes another step he will surely die. Yes, much the same as a mighty work horse the man will not allow himself rest until he has literally been pushed to his death bed. Even then, in an act of complete selflessness, the man will rest only because he knows that if he dies his wife will be left without his steadfast love and financial support, and it kills him inside to be lying around instead of serving his wife in some capacity or another. The act of resting itself is an act of servitude for his wife.

Misconceptions:

     Most women do not realize the above truth because their husbands don't tell them, and they don't tell them because they don't want them to worry about them (again, totally selfless). The man will usually keep it vague, saying something like "It's no big deal I just need to lay down for a day or two" when he should probably be rushed to the hospital. This causes a problem, however, because then women do not take the man's sickness seriously, and proceed to mock him on Facebook or make fun of him while at the market. Women must understand that if a man is in bed as opposed to working diligently it's because it is physically impossible for him to move, not because he is a "cry baby". You also need to know that while in this state the man's mental process is greatly distorted, so he may say things he would never say under normal circumstances. Just remember that it's the sickness talking.

Solution:

     Information and understanding are the solutions to this problem. Men and women must have an open and honest dialogue about the man's illness. This dialogue must be free of the woman's judgements and pre-conceived notions about what may or may not be bothering her husband. Men, if you want your wife to understand the serious nature of your illness you must disclose it to her. I understand that it's hard as a man to do something that seems so selfish, but in reality you are putting your family first by telling her how much it really hurts. And finally, women should never make fun of their husbands, sons, brothers, fathers, male friends, or any other men in their lives when they are sick. Thank you for your time and understanding!

*Ironic isn't it that the wife was made as a helper to the husband, yet they are constantly asking for the man's help with everything.

Film Review Revisited-Super Size Me

     I know it has been several years since this film came out, and I still have not seen it (nor do I plan to) but I was thinking about the premise of this film and the impact it has had on American culture since its release. After contemplating this all night at work I have decided to write the first installment of a (hopefully) great line of vintage film reviews starting today with the documentary phenomenon "Super Size Me".

Synopsis

     "Super Size Me" is a documentary film by New York film maker and local idiot Morgan Spurlock in which he eats nothing but McDonald's food for 30 days in hopes of ultimately having heart failure and dying in order to see the fast food industry collapse and achieve immortality as the savior of the youth of modern America. As the film progresses Spurlock sees the expected negative side effects of his diet in the form of weight gain, low energy, low self esteem, and becoming unattractive to his then-girlfriend, Alexandra, but fails to die in the end as well as enact any social change, with the two goals remaining unfulfilled to this day.

Why?

     The most prevalent question surrounding this movie is simple: Why do we need an entire film to tell us eating nothing but McDonald's is bad for you? To tell us eating McDonald's all the time will make us be fatter and have high blood pressure? It made me sad when this film came out and created such a buzz because of the fact that so many people acted like they did not realize McDonald's is not the most healthy choice of food and should not be considered for one's exclusive dietary needs. It's like those people that sue tobacco companies because they didn't realize on their own that breathing smoke in and out of your lungs all day every day for years is NOT healthy and no one told them. Ridiculous! If a person is not smart enough to realize that eating only fast food is detrimental to one's health they are probably not going to live very long anyway. There are also several other factors surrounding this film and/or its aftermath that disturb me such as:

-Alexandra is a vegan chef and wrote a book about Spurlock's recovery called "The Great American Detox Diet', then married and divorced him.

-Suprlock supposedly gained 24.5 pounds during the "experiment", but it is never revealed if this gain is fat or muscle.

-Spurlock claims that there were negative psychological effects as a result of the "experiment", but he was obviously menially unhinged before the "experiment", which lead to the idea of the "experiment".

-Morgan Spurlock's middle name is Valentine.

-The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences lost any and all credibility upon nominating this documentary for an Academy Award. Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper also lost their credibility as film critics when they gave the film "two thumbs up".

Conclusion:

     In conclusion this film is absurd.

     Again, I realize there is probably much more to discuss about this film but due to me not actually seeing it and instead gathering all information about the film from Wikipedia and trailers of the movie I am limited to the above mentioned criticisms. Therefore I will bid you all a good morning and please remember to eat something other than fast food at least once every thirty days. Thanks!

Valentine's Day

    

     I was in the midst of peaceful slumber when I had a terrible nightmare. Normally bad dreams don't phase me, but this one was particularly disturbing because it could actually come true. In this particular dream it was Valentine's Day, the absolute worst American holiday...that's it.

     Just beating out Earth Day, St. Valentine's Day is the biggest joke of a holiday in the history of known man. Designed by card makers and struggling flower salesmen of the early 19th century as a farce to boost sales toward the end of what was traditionally their fiscal year, this sham of a holiday has evolved to spread misery to every corner of society, from the happily married young couple to the lonely old widow. You may also be interested to know that Valentine's Day was created only after the above mentioned business cooperative's first holiday, Lust Day (which was to take place on January 23rd), failed to take off with the majority of people. This may sound like a rant but there are statistics to prove what may seem like merely one man's opinion. Let's take a look:

Divorce Rate
    
     The number of divorce filings nearly triples on February 15 (traditionally the day after Valentine's Day is observed) when compared to any other day of the year. The reason most commonly given, as you might guess, is irreconcilable differences, but when surveyed by an independent third party most people reveal that the real reason is disappointment in their Valentine's Day gifts or activities. This is usually because one of two reasons: 1. When a young man is trying to win a young woman's affections he often goes "all out" for Valentine's Day. This is a nice gesture, however this often sets the young man up for inevitable failure later on in life because he has set the bar so high that it can never again be reached (with children and other facets of life putting a stranglehold on finances and prep time, a problem the young man never had to consider in the days of his courtship). 2. When women chit-chat with their girlfriends about what their husbands are doing for Valentine's Day they often over-indulge or even blatantly lie about the evening's activities. This is the female version of the "one up" and often results in every woman going home furious because of what the other women are getting for Valentine's Day while they had to lie about it to save face. The Valentine's related divorce rate has become such a problem that beginning February 15 and going until the end of the month most states offer a "Speedy Valentine's Day Related Divorce" in order to prevent the courts from getting too backed up. Many attorneys also offer divorce discounts in late February to try and snatch up the easy business.

Other Statistics

     I'm not going to get into more detail about the dangers and moral failures of Valentine's Day due to the family-friendly nature of this blog so here is just some brief statistics that are related (directly or indirectly) to this awful holiday:

-February 15th holds the highest rate for "shotgun wedding" announcements.

-February 15th has simultaneously been the #1 day of Facebook account holders changing their relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship", "in a relationship" to "single", and from either to "it's complicated" every single year since it's inception.

-The highest single day birth rate is...you guessed it...November 14th almost every year.

-72% of all house fires are reported on February 14th.

-The adoption rate of puppies goes up 56% on February 13th while the rate of puppies checked into shelters goes up 54% on February 21st.

-The federal government's fiscal year end was changed from October 31st (so people could get their tax returns by Christmas) to December 31st (so people could get their tax returns after Christmas but before Valentine's Day) in the early 1900's as a result of extensive pushing by greeting card, chocolate, and florist lobbyists.

-53% of all credit card debt is acquired on February 13th, and of that 96% is spent in the flower, chocolate,
and greeting card sectors.

     I hope you will all join me in boycotting Valentine's Day beginning this year. Please avoid spending money on anything that contains hearts, pink, love, and especially Cupid. Additionally, do not go out to eat that night, do not book any massages, do not get any hotel rooms (even if you are actually traveling, just sleep in your car or on a park bench), and do not hire a baby sitter. Together we can destroy this ridiculous so-called "holiday" and save this world. Thank you!

Note: Upon my own previewing of this blog post the stat counter showed 666 views. Coincidence? I think not.

Election 2012-Meet the Candidates

     Election season is upon us once again, so before the rigmarole of commercials and attacks gets into full swing I thought it would benefit the audience to do a brief introduction to each candidate. I advise that you ignore all political ads and debates this season and base your election decision solely on this article (and possible future installments) because of it's in-depth, yet easy to understand analysis and neutral stance on each candidate.

Mitt Romney

     Mitt Romney is a businessman and politician who unsuccessfully ran for president in 2008 where he was defeated in the Republican primary by John McCain. Romney is best known for being simultaneously opposed to and supportive of almost any stance on virtually all issues. This paradox has been the greatest strength and weakness of hopeful as he is considered the front runner for the GOP nod while also being the most hated man on the ticket. In order to win the nomination Romney must be able to get more delegates than the other contenders this election season.

Ron Paul

     Ron Paul is everyone's favorite always outrageous Libertarian candidate who hopes to take his outside-the-box views and ideas all the way to the White House. While Paul's base appears to be outnumbered by some of his opponents he actually carries a noteworthy amount of the independent vote. Paul's greatest strength in the election is the "just crazy enough to work" mentality, appealing to the masses who are tired of "business as usual" politics in Washington. In order to have a chance of facing Obama in November Ron Paul needs to get his base out to the poles during the primaries, while at the same time getting other candidate's bases to vote for him as well.

Rick Santorum

     Rick Santorum was virtually unknown before throwing in his hat for the Presidency, and is now best known for people not knowing who he is. In fact, some believe Rick Santorum is not a real person at all but is actually an idea created to fill what some would call a void of true Conservatives on the Republican ticket. That is the only information that could be found on Mr. Santorum. In order to win the election Santorum needs to convince the voters that he does in fact exist, and that they should vote for him.



Newt Gingrich

     Newt Gingrich is what many would call the "establishment" Republican running on this year's ticket. Gingrich has been in politics almost all of his life, beginning in Kindergarten when he successfully ran for class president. Gingrich's greatest strength lies in the striking similarity he shares with Dwight Schrute, a character from the U.S. version of the television show The Office as seen in the picture below.

     The undeniable likeness to this quirky, yet lovable character could be his greatest strength as it may cause voters to associate their love of Dwight Schrute with Gingrich, or could prove to be a disadvantage as it may render the electorate unable to take him seriously. Whatever the case Newt's fate will be tied to the amount of votes he receives, therefore he needs to get as many as possible.

Barack Obama 

     If you are not familiar with Barack Obama you are probably using a computer for the very first time. Congratulations! Be that as it may, Barack Obama is the current President of the United States, and is running for re-election in 2012. Since taking office Obama has taken Washington by storm, with the following list highlighting some of his accomplishments:

1.

     Whether you love him or hate him Obama's key to victory lies in in ability to repeat his performance of 2008's election where he received more electoral college votes than his opponents. It is also worth noting that Obama's win in 2008 was historical in the fact that he was the first ever man to become the 44th President of the United States.

     I hope this helps in your decision making process when it comes to who will be the victor this coming November. Please stay tuned, as we at A Mind On Display just may formally endorse a candidate in the coming months. Thank you and have a blessed day!

For parents thinking of decorating their kid's room with owls...

     Lately America has taken a renewed interest in owls as a decorating theme, primarily in children's rooms. On the surface owls appear to be adorable creatures, with their large eyes, small beaks, cute little ears (with bows for females), and cartoon-like features. They can also be easily altered and applied to almost anything you need to complete your theme (such as pillows, blankets, attire, or even cakes as pictured above) seemingly making them the perfect choice for your little ones. While I'm sure most parents have nothing but good intentions when choosing this as their children's room or party theme the truth is that while adults see owls as pictured above, to children owls come across more like this:

     That's right, in reality owls are one of the most deadly and horrific creatures in all of God's creation. Born and raised to be a bloodthirsty killer the owl lives solely to murder. Some scientists suggest that owls will continue to kill throughout the night even after they are no longer hungry while other studies have concluded that the owl actually gets pleasure from murder through a release of endorphins upon spilling the victim's blood. One fun fact that has recently made headlines in the conservation world is that owls actually think of creative and different ways to slaughter their prey while attempting to maximize the pain inflicted on their victim. With all this reality in your face it makes the owl seem a little less cute, but wait...there's more.
     Owls are not only known for their cold-blooded murder, but are also synonymous with stalking. While prowling at night the owl will often stalk it's prey, staying just close enough to be menacing but barely out of reach. Their "hooting" is also a form of psychological torture they use on the creature they are stalking and intend to murder. If an owl sets it's eye on a beast too large for it to overtake (such as a buffalo) it will sometimes stalk for several days or even weeks, constantly "hooting" at it while taking opportunities to swoop down and claw, gouge, or bite the creature. The intention is to so severely torture the animal that it can no longer withstand the pain and eventually runs itself off a cliff. Afterward, instead of eating the beast the owl will simply stand over the corpse and, for several hours, let out a noise that has been described as an eerie laugh. Pretty twisted in this bloggers opinion.
     In the past 12 months the amount of decor sold that is owl-themed has risen 38.045% while the number of night terrors reported in children has gone up 38.038% in the same time span and with these revelations about the true nature of owls it's no surprise. I also think it's worth mentioning that in many Eastern religions the owl represents pure evil. I'm not trying to tell you that you are evil or wrong if you choose to use owls as the theme of your child's room, but if you do I would advise setting up a trust fund for a therapist instead of college. Thanks and please re-post this on your own Facebook wall! Good day to you all!

Why are they famous? Kate Gosselin

     Earlier today as I was catching up on the latest headlines I saw an article pertaining to Kate Gosselin. I almost clicked on the news story, but suddenly I realized something: I do not care. Kate Gosselin was thrust into national super stardom in 2005 because of her extraordinary amount of children (twins followed by sextuplets) and has since remained in the spotlight. But why? Although I think spending time addressing this woman is wasted time indeed, I have always been perplexed by America's fascination with her, therefore I am compelled to find out exactly what makes her qualified to be a celebrity.

Many, many children:

     Kate's fame and financial successes can be directly attributed to her brood of children. No one can argue that Kate Gosselin would not be a household name aside from them. Now, however, Kate has been eclipsed by the infinitely more irresponsible Duggar family who boasts 19 kids (and counting), therefore the luster and intrigue of her (small by comparison) family is simply non-existent. No one can dispute that 19 is more than 8, and whether or not you agree with this totally out of control and ridiculous amount child-bearing, the fact remains that in today's America 8 children is simply not celebrity material. To be honest I am greatly shocked and surprisingly proud of Kate for not trying to get pregnant again in order to attempt to maintain her throne of celebrity child-rearing.

Crazy Spoiled brat:

     Ever since Jon & Kate Plus 8 took to the air Kate has presented herself as a woman who knows what she wants and is strong enough to take it (from her feeble husband at the time, since then from all of America). Translated this means she is a spoiled brat who just yells a lot until she gets what she desires. She also appears at times to posses inferior intelligence and is possibly mentally unstable. As embarrassing as it may be, these are normally celebrity-worthy traits, but Kate again is overshadowed by so many others who have been doing it longer and better. Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton, and all of the Kardashians are just a handful of names that instantly come to mind when thinking of famous brats, morons, and psyhcos. Again, Kate is a second-tier crazy celebrity at best, living always in the shadow of those who have greatly out yelled, out screamed, and generally out done her in every category.

     Now that I have studied and written it out I am convinced more than ever that Kate Gosselin is not worthy of any media attention and therefore will be getting no more of mine. I realize that, ironically enough,  upon publication of this very story #KateGosselin will no doubt be instantly trending worldwide on Twitter, but after that dies in the next month or so I hope you all will devote your celebrity worship to someone who has earned it a little more. Thanks for your time and have a blessed weekend.

Tips to Avoid Facebook Abuse

     In the new digital world Facebook seems to be the hub of everything and everyone. In fact, many of you were probably directed to this very blog through Facebook by myself or a very considerate friend. Some people, however, have taken the privilege of Facebook and turned it into a burden to others with their continual digital faux pas. Here are some simple rules to follow when taking advantage of Facebook (or any other social media). *Note-This is NOT directed at a specific individual but is based on extensive research so please do not humiliate yourself by trying to call me out or get mad at me about it if you happen to be a violator of the forthcoming suggestions.

1. TMI

     One of the most overused and abused aspects of Facebook is the status update. This tool is to let your friends know what's going on with you, but is not meant to divulge your deepest darkest secrets or what is happening to you minute by minute. And please...no one ever wants to know about any aspect of your (or anyone else's) sex life. Don't get me wrong, if you need to share something as a prayer request or perhaps because people really need to know about it that's great, but most of the time matters pertaining to health (physical or emotional) or finances probably would be better left to face-to-face conversation with people you are actually close to.

2. Roller coaster

     One thing I can't stand and I have heard others complain about is the "roller coaster" Facebook poster. This is when an individual takes their emotional instability and converts it to digital format through Facebooking about it. Here is an example of a day in the life of a "roller coaster" Facebook status updater.

7:06 am-Just woke up happy as a clam!
7:28 am-Out of cereal, why did I even get out of bed.
8:15 am-I just passed by a cute member of the opposite sex. Great day!
8:58 am-Pulled in the parking lot and had to park 3 rows back. Wish I was in a coma.
9:30 am-Hazelnut coffee is back in the machine! I'm in love!
10:23 am-I'm heartbroken :'( My boy or girlfriend of 3 days dumped me.

     Anyway, you get the point and I'm annoying myself just typing this so I will not finish the rest of the day. Again, there is a time and a place for posting about emotions and I am not saying you should never let the world know how you are feeling (I certainly have), but please don't overwhelm us with overdoing it.

Negative Nancy

     Unfortunately most of the people who need to see this one have been defriended by me so that probably won't happen, but nonetheless, please refrain from bogging down the information feed with constant complaining. I realize there are plenty of things to get upset about but when you post every situation that bothers you hour by hour it just makes people want to hurt you. Again, don't take offence to this if you complain on Facebook sometimes (after all, some would consider this post complaining) but please use discretion when complaining. No one wants to hear about how homicidal you are because you got a Diet Coke from the machine when you clearly pushed the Coke button.

     If you know someone who needs a lesson in Facebook manners please direct them here in a subtle manner to avoid offending them. A good tactic is to blame-shift such as "Hey, check out this blog so-and-so really needs to read it!" when all the while they are the person that needs the education. This will help you avoid a potentially uncomfortable situation while still exposing them to this useful information! Thanks for your time and have a blessed evening.