1. Hire Frank Thomas Jr. to replace him
Frank Thomas Jr. would be a great replacement for Pujols bringing to the team experience and power at the plate for a modest price. While some naysayers will point to the less than stellar ending to his career one must keep in mind that Thomas has had a few years to rest and re coupe from 18 years of playing, and we can expect the same results he brought to the White Sox in the 90's upon his return to baseball. I estimate the Cards could acquire Thomas for the league minimum (assuming he is desperate to return to baseball and misses is so much he would probably play for free if that was legal) freeing up millions of dollars for step 2 of the plan.
2. New training facilities
When the Cardinals signed Matt Holliday I told a friend of mine I thought the $120 million they spent on him could have been better invested in new training facilities and it turns out I was right. The Cardinals now have the opportunity to correct this mistake by taking the Pujols money (less Frank Thomas' salary) and invest it in additional staff and training facilities. Under my plan each member of the team would have their own brand new fully staffed gym, indoor training facility including infield (full size field for outfielders), batting cages, massage parlor, sauna, day spa, and any other facilities I can't even think of right now or maybe don't even know about. This includes all coaches, office personal, and even bat boys. Yes, all of them would have their own personal staff and training complex. Some would say this is excessive, however, that is what it takes to win these days and all this would still be cheaper than trying to pay Pujols' desired salary. The Cardinals could purchase St. Louis Union Station (which is all but abandoned) and the Edward Jones Dome (also pretty much abandoned) for dirt cheap to house the new training facilities. These locations are both ideal because they are large and fairly close to Busch Stadium. After these buildings are purchased just make a few renovations and you have yourself the training complexes needed for the team. If every member of the squad has the staff and equipment along with individual attention this plan would afford we can be sure they will all perform at an optimum level individually, therefore making the team perform at it's peak.
Thank you for your time and if you know someone who is depressed about this Albert Pujols situation please direct there attention here for comfort. Thank you and goodnight.
*The staff at A Mind On Display would like to thank Joshua Perry and Wikipedia for their contributions to this story.
