Monday, April 30, 2012

Growth Hormones in food-What's the big deal?

     Ever since the meat and dairy industries have started using massive amounts of growth hormones and other chemicals and additives in their cattle there has been a small, yet surprisingly loud, group of the fringe of society that has been crying foul. They make outrageous claims such as additives are actually bad for consumption and cause various types of diseases and even cancer. Obviously such claims are complete poppycock, so tonight I will deliver the real story.

Effects on the body:

    
     Have you noticed that since the mid to late 80s people have seemingly gotten faster and stronger? It's not just in your head, this is actually happening. It's also no coincidence that the mid to late 80s is precisely when hormones and chemical additives began to be used massively in the U.S. beef and dairy industry. You see, when you eat a meal from Taco Bell you are not just getting a delicious meal at a reasonable price in the blink of an eye, you are also getting a plate full of additives that will help your body reach it's full potential by increasing muscle mass and synaptic firing of the nerves (which, of course, boosts reaction time). I, myself, am not of an athletic build and even I can outrun Jessie Owens' gold-medal time at the 1936 Berlin Olympics due to a lifetime of fast and other pre-packaged food consumption. Speaking of the Olympics it is also no coincidence that since the U.S. has been using more and more preservatives in it's food we have become more dominant with every Olympic Games that comes and goes.

Effects on the Mind:

     Since we have already proven that these chemicals help keep the nervous system operating at it's peak it should be no surprise to a logically-thinking person that increased brain power is also a side effect. Some people say that technology begets technology, but the truth is that the real reason technology is growing at an exponential rate is due to the increased use of fast food and pre-packaged food worldwide. Think of all the wonderful things that have come our way over the last 2-3 decades: Apple Computers, Microsoft, 3D TV, Tupac holograms, electric cars, smart phones, the clapper. Almost every major technological advancement we have seen in the last 30 years has been the result of a college student that was on a strict diet of McDonald's dollar menu and ramen noodles, not from a think-tank of vegans as you might think. It's also interesting to me that Japan and China used to be notorious for sub-par electronic devices and poor quality automobiles...until they got McDonalds. Then, all of a sudden they were leading the way in research and development in both industries.

Effects on the Economy:

     The naysayers are so quick to demonize farmers and ranchers who use growth hormones to maximize profits, but they fail to realize that from a financial standpoint we all benefit from their usage. Because of the tremendous amount of extra meat grown as a result of chemical additives we all have the opportunity at a delicious, hot meal that not so long ago would have only been affordable to the super-rich. Yes, even King Solomon, arguably the richest man who ever lived, did not have the luxury of a hamburger prepared in mere minutes at the snap of his fingers. Now, however, even the lowliest peasant can enjoy a fresh meal at his or her convince by simply scraping up some change off the street. This is made possible by growth hormones and chemical additives.


     Thank you for reading, and please refuse to eat so-called "organic" food that is overpriced and underachieving. Have a pleasant day!