Parenting Tips-How to tell your child no

     One of the challenges I see modern day parents struggling with is the idea of telling their children no to anything they ask for. There are many misconceptions surrounding the concept of telling one's child no including the idea that saying no, regardless of the irrationality of the request, is somehow mean. Some parents even believe saying no is a form of child abuse while Hippies (or "free spirits") believe that "a child must be free to discover themselves without boarders, man" and saying no inhibits that growth. Some parents believe saying no is too difficult and others are just too lazy to do so. Today we are going to explore how a parent can be successful in saying no and the benefits of doing so!
     The first thing parents must understand is saying yes can come in many forms including (but not limited to) "Whatever", "I don't care", and "Fine! Just do it then!". It also does not count if a parent says no at first, but then gives in after further persistence. Below is an example what not to do:

Child: "Parent or legal guardian, I want to eat cake and ice cream for every meal."

Parent/legal guardian: "No my child, you may not have cake and ice cream for every meal."

Child: "But I want to! PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!"

Parent/legal guardian: "Fine! Whatever! I don't care!"

     Makes you think of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory doesn't it? If this looks like an exchange similar to one you may have with your child you may have a problem with saying no. Fear not, for no matter how long you have been bowing to your child's absurd demands you can still turn the ship around and here is how you do it:
     Phase 1-Phase 1 involves saying no. As we discussed earlier many parents actually get this phase correctly, however it means nothing if you do not follow through with the following phases (unless, obviously, phase 1 works in which case the following phases are not needed). Phase 2-This phase involves saying no again, this time more sternly and/or perhaps with a brief explanation of why a no was given. In children who have never been told no twice in a row this will normally provoke an adverse response which is often referred to as a "temper tantrum". If the temper tantrum is initiated then it is necessary to move on to phase 3, which I have nick-named the "discipline" phase. Phase 3 is another no coupled with some form of punishment (this may include a time out, repossession of a toy, or corporal punishment for parents discerning enough to handle it). Please keep in mind that if you go through all the phases and still give in to the demand you have labored in vain, so stay strong!
     For parents who have spent years bending over backwards for their child's demands you will find that the phases will probably not work at first. This is because the child has learned over the years that (through your own inaction) they will eventually get what they want if they are loud enough or press long enough. Keep up the good fight, for although it will be a struggle in the beginning this method will pay dividends for the rest of both of your lives! Thanks, and be sure to tell any parents you know who may be dealing with this issue!