We Wish You a Merry Christmas:
This classic Christmas song starts out in a very nice fashion. "We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year" and "Good tidings to you and your kin" paint a lovely picture of carolers coming to a lonely woman's home to wish her a merry Christmas and a happy new year, as the song would imply. The real horror starts with the second verse when the carolers turn from a heartwarming group trying to spread Christmas cheer into an angry mob demanding a hand-out. The hostility continues and even advances in the third verse when the wording "We won't go until we get some, so bring it out here" implies the mob will savagely murder the home-owners unless their demands are met. I'm not telling you how to raise your kids, but I certainly don't think a song that promotes murder is appropriate for any child and most definitely does not convey the true meaning of Christmas.
Frosty The Snowman:
This song is about a group of young children who are bored on a snowy winter day so they begin to dabble in witchcraft. As a result of this the children accidentally cast a spell on an "old silk hat they found" and, upon placing it atop a snowman, cause him to come to life. The children spend the next few days running amok through their small town behind their new leader Frosty the Snowman, at one point even refusing to stop at the request of a traffic cop. The story has a chilling ending as the demon-possessed snowman vows to come back again someday as he is melting (presumably to kidnap the children of the town and destroy what remains).
A few additional points I would like to make about this carol are 1. There is no mention of the childrens' parents for the entire duration of their activities and 2. This song doesn't even mention Christmas, no not one time, so I do not understand how it is even considered a Christmas carol.
The Little Drummer Boy:
This story in itself isn't bad as in it doesn't encourage black magic or murder, but the problem I have is the fact that it tries to convey the happenings of the little drummer boy as gospel, when the Bible makes no mention of such an event. Therefore we have no alternative but to consider this song total heresy and must keep our children away from it.
Baby It's Cold Outside:
Even worse than Insane Clown Posse's "I Hate Santa" is the song "Baby It's Cold Outside", taking the trophy for worst Christmas song of all time. This morally bankrupt tale is basically a dialogue between an easily impressionable young lady and a man who is trying to get her intoxicated and have marital relations (although the lyrics make it clear they are not married). In fact the song makes it painfully obvious that she still lives with her parents ("mother will start to worry, father will be placing the floor") while he has his own house calling her age into question. In an act of total desperation the man in the song eventually threatens to kill the young lady and cover it up if she doesn't stay the evening with him ("think of my lifelong sorrow if you got pneumonia and died"). Seems like a pretty sick way to celebrate the birth of the savior of the entire world.
That is the list of terrible Christmas songs. If your favorite song was on the list don't be discouraged, there are plenty of other Christmas carols that warm the heart and spread the joy of the season. I suggest you burn any vinyl records or cassette tapes of these tunes you may have and replace them with something more wholesome. Thanks as always and don't forget to tell at least three friends!
