Bob Ross-The World's only 7-dementional painter

     In the world of fine art there is no name that is more recognized than that of Bob Ross. Known for his "happy trees", wild fashion sense, and hippie-like demeanor, Bob Ross has captivated audiences for decades with his captivating paintings, leaving all who see them captivated. Although everyone on Earth can agree that Bob Ross was a genius most people don't understand exactly what made him such, therefore tonight I am going to explain exactly what it is you can't put your finger on that makes Mr. Ross' paintings so amazing. It's all about dimensions. Bob Ross was the only painter that was able to paint in 7 dimensions. For the most part everyone knows what 2 and 3 dimensional pictures are, so I will not take the time to explain them, but I will briefly explain the far lesser known 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th dimensions.

4th Dimension: Behind Sight:

     When Bob Ross is constructing one of his masterworks he often makes complete mountains in the background with details, only to cover them up with happy trees. Yes, the majestic work just finished is almost always covered in part and sometimes entirely. The 4th dimension is the dimension behind an object you can't see. For example: the tree on your left in the picture above has something behind it-a mountain and other trees. Every other painter in history before and since Ross has simply placed objects (such as trees) on a canvas with nothing behind them. Not Ross, however. Ross knew that with technology advancing at such a rapid rate we would one day have the ability to see what was behind those trees, so he covered the 4th dimension in anticipation of this. Truly visionary.

5th Dimension-Foresight

     Almost every time Bob Ross is weaving a tapestry of painting majesty you will see him stop what he is doing and say something along the lines of "Wait...I see something. Yes...right there. There it is" and he will begin painting something he has seen. That's right, when it came to painting Bob Ross could see the future. He could see the 5th dimension-that which is not yet seen, and bring it into view for the rest of the world. No other painter has this ability. Every other artist puts on canvas what is already in their minds eye while Bob Ross just begins his journey and has the scene revealed to him along the way. What a gift!

6th Dimension-Unseen Sight:

     You notice how the previously-mentioned tree on your left goes off the end of the painting? It doesn't just cease to exist when the canvas stops. The rest of that tree exists in the 6th dimension, the realm we cannot see. Unlike other artists who are simply confined to the parameters of their canvas Bob Ross actually has the ability to create art in this 6th dimension. The rest of that tree exists in a world of unseen things that most people dismiss as mere myth.

7th Dimension-Parallel Sight:

     On several of his paintings Bob Ross will put a sheet of contact paper over part of the canvas, paint a masterpiece, tear off the contact paper with some of the art on it, and then paint again where the paper has been removed. This is the only example in recorded history of 7th dimension painting-the dimension that parallels our own. You see, when he does this he is actually creating the same painting twice with 2 different outcomes. There is the outcome that has what is on the contact paper and the outcome that has what is on the canvas, and they are both as real as each other. Some scientists believe this is impossible without interrupting the time/space continuum causing the universe to cave in on itself, but Bob Ross has made it happen multiple times.

     Thank you for your time, and if you are a Bob Ross fan as I am please share this with someone who may not be a believer. I will close with the famous words of Mr. Bob Ross-"Happy painting, and God bless. Goodbye."

Ode To Fathers-A Father's Day Poem

     This Sunday is Father's Day, one of the most important holidays of the year. To celebrate one of the greatest assets in all of humanity, the father, I have composed the following poem. Feel free to recite it to your father, husband, or a random father you know to let him know what he means to you.

The Father, what can I say of thee?
You are mighty and strong, a pillar for the family to lean on.
You are wise, a cistern of knowledge from which we can drink.
Villains rise up against the family, but the father protects even the most feeble of the children.
The power of the might of the father of the family is felt to the ends of the Earth.
Yes, you father of children are wise beyond years and strong beyond regular ability.
The expecting father has many sleep-filled nights, but he too will soon slumber no more.
The father to be will rise up in power and hold the scepter alongside his fellow brethren.
The father of many children is worthy of double honor.
He raises and provides for his multiple offspring, and they are without want.
He is awesome in power, the father of many, many young children.
The father of nineteen is considered a fool in the market.
He appears ridiculous in the eyes of all the people.
The man that is the father of more than three but less than five is the crown jewel of the people.
He captivates the nations with his ability, yes his ability to harness the power of his four children.
The people marvel at his steadfast steadfastness.
The women he knows are compelled to shower him with gifts of the finest delicacies.
And the menfolk give him honor in the form of monetary gifts.
The father of more than three but less than five offspring is humble in spite of his greatness.
He esteems himself not, but brings himself low for the sake of his family.
However, when it comes to doing great acts he towers over the people, and they are in awe.
Yes, fathers of all accounts are worthy of praise.
But the father of four stands head and shoulders above them all.

     For those of you wondering it is appropriate to complement this poem with a gift (or many gifts) to the special father in your life. Be sure to lavish attention on him as well. You might also want to consider extending this Fathe'r\s Day through the rest of the week or even month. Happy Father's Day!