The Lorax and its profound effets on American history

     With the recent release of a full length feature film the children's book "The Lorax" has, yet again, been thrust onto the center stage of American pop culture. Generation after generation of kids and parents alike have enjoyed this classic good vs. evil tale about environmental awareness. There is no way that any harm could come of the publication of this book, right? The answer you don't want to know may surprise you, so I'm going to break it down Dr. Seuss style to ease the blow:

"The Lorax" is a tale about the Once-ler, greedy and unfriendly.

Who supposedly didn't care about mother Earth, only his checkbook and his Bentley.

He represented corporations who allegedly fill the lake with muckety muck.

And destroy the natural habitats with their axety axes and truckety trucks.

He made a product for those who needed affordable clothing, called a thneed.

To help give the masses a step out of poverty.

Doesn't seem that bad, but hear the rest of the tale.

The Lorax came around and started raising all kinds of...chaos.

"I speak for the trees!" he declared with a might humph.

He pointed to the Once-ler and said "You must die!" while perched on a Truffula stump.

"People are important, yes, I surely hope they can be kept warm

But more important are the Truffula trees. So in their name I declare war!"

The Lorax kept on huffing "I won't let you have any trees for the benefit of man

So I'm sending the Animal and Earth Liberation Fronts to foil all your plans!"

The Onceler pleaded "I just wanted to make a thneed, something that could help the poor and needy

Why is it that because I make money as a result I'm considered greedy!?"

The Lorax snapped back "I have no need for your excuse.

You may care about poor people but look at the Barbaloots in their Barbaloot suits!

You've ruined their swimming pool, a place for them to relax and unwind!

Why is it that people surviving the cold is more important than that in your twisted mind?"

"Uhhh...yes" replied the Once-ler "I think human survival is more important than a swimming pool

If you believe that's foolish then I guess you can call me a fool."

With a red face and one last breath the Lorax did concede

"FINE THEN! Me and all the creatures of the forest are just going to leave!

We will go somewhere where our needs and wants are uninterrupted

Somewhere that we don't have to share our resources, where our pools are uncorrupted"

As the Lorax vacated the forest the turned the skys black as night.

And barked threats and insults at the Once-ler, for the sake of children I won't re-type.

And the Lorax kept his promise to put the Once-ler in a fix

With the appearing of the Animal Liberation Front in 1976.

Again, years down the road, the Lorax made good on his curse

When radical eco-terrorists formed the Earth Liberation Front from Earth First!

So now you see the impact "The Lorax" has had on our world since it's publication.

What comes next after the release of the film? I don't know, that would only be speculation.



Note: None of the dialogue used in this publication was taken directly from the "The Lorax", it's just an extraordinarily clever rhyme designed to show that the Animal and Earth Liberation Fronts were formed as a direct result of the original story.